Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Fighting Life

I've been feeling like I've been fighting life lately- just wanting to resist and stay where I am and push life away. Not suprisingly, there isn't a whole lot that gets done when that happens! Not just physical stuff, even real listening and acknowledging where I am/what is going on both inside and outside of me. I just get to a place where I freeze and want everything to stop.

Yesterday I tried to explore that, to get into the frozen fightingness. I was feeling overwhelmed about this thing that I *want* to do but there is fear about it- part of me wants to jump in and do it and another part of me is very afraid of the unknown and just wants things to stay the same. I wasn't sure where to go. And I heard "What feels good about this? Follow that." And woosh, some of the fear left. As I write this I can feel some of the resistance still, but I plan on following that good feeling and see where we go. Hopefully we'll have pictures to share of what feels good about the situation in the future. :) As long as making the supplies order feels good too!

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